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Be a Friend to Someone

We have another excerpt from, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” today. It is chapter seven. It is called, “Be a Friend to Someone.” It talks about being there for someone who is suffering.

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A reminder……we have this book on sale on this site. In the retail stores it costs $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99. The shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

This book reaches out to those who may be suffering with anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, etc. In this day and age there are many who are there because of the current economy.

There are on about 30 days left until Christmas, and to make sure you get the book in time, you need to order by December 16th.

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We would love you to join us on our RSS feed. When you do it helps us climb up the Google Search Rankings. If you haven’t already done that please to it today. The RSS feed is right after the title.

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Chapter 7

 

Be a Friend to Someone

 

Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights.

No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

Job2:13(emphasis mine)

 

Job went through every kind of hardship you can imagine, but his worst hardship was the loss of his own children. Just think how devastated you would be if all of your children perished in one day.

The friends of Job knew that saying things like, “We are so sorry this happened to you,” would not help at all. So they just stayed near him to help him feel comfortable, and waited.

Many of us have friends who are heroes to us. This is because they never look down on you. They are always there for you when you need them. They still like you when you’ve made a mistake. The following talks about how you can be a hero to someone at a critical time of their life.

What do you say when you are with a person who has just lost a loved one? Do you try to explain why God took them? Do you say how sorry you are that it happened?

I lost my father onMay 4, 2001, and it was very hard for me, because we had grown so close in the final two weeks of his life. At the service, people kept coming up to me and saying how sorry they were, and that my father was at peace now. “If there anything I can do,” many of them said. None of this helped me at all. I knew they meant well, but I wanted them to go away and leave me alone.

The one person that really helped me through the whole service was my wife, Charlotte. She never said anything to me about how I was going to be OK. She just held my hand the whole time, and silently gave me reassurance. That was what I really needed! I wanted her to stay close to me, because she—not all the well-wishers who kept coming past me in the receiving line—was the one who was really helping me.

Job lost his children and most of his possessions. Some of his friends came to him and mourned with him. They just sat with him and didn’t say a word. He had a tremendous close encounter with God, and his friends were there to share it with him.

When you are with a friend or loved one who has a loss, just be there and be close to them. You don’t have to saying anything. Your presence will be their comfort. Reminds me of the little boy who walked in the door and announced that he had just visited the newly widowed neighbor.

“What did you say?” his surprised mother asked.

“Nothing. I just sat on her lap and cried with her.”

 

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and

God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort

those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,

so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

2 Corinthians 1:3–5

Further Adventures

Have you been to a funeral where you didn’t know what to say to the mourning family? Try saying nothing. They are glad you came to honor their loved one who has passed away. A hug and a smile will do wonders.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how friends are like the walls of a house? Sometimes they hold you up. Sometimes you lean on them. But sometimes it’s enough to know they’re just standing by.

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Death, Where is Your Sting?

Today’s excerpt from “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” is Chapter six, called “Death….Where is Your Sting?”

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We would love it if you would sign-up for our RSS feed. This helps us to move up the Google Search Rankings page and therefore have more readers. If you haven’t already signed up, please do it today. The feed is right after the title.

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I hope you are enjoying reading some excerpts from the book. Remember there is a little over 30  days left until Christmas, and we are having a Christmas sale for the book. In the retail stores the book is $19.99, but on this site it is only $15.99. The Shipping is cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00

If you are going to order, you need to do it by December 16th to make sure we can get the book to you in time for Christmas.

The book reaches out to those who may be suffering from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, etc. This book would be a wonderful gift to help someone cope in a not so friendly world.

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Chapter 6

  

Death … Where Is Your Sting?

 

Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law.

1 Corinthians 15:55–56

 

As believers, we have the comfort of knowing we have eternal life. According to Romans 5:12, death comes to all of us. We have to go through the process that all living things must go through. However, we can be reassured that we will have new bodies, and be in heaven with God.

It is also hard to lose loved ones and friends. God doesn’t explain to us why He takes some people earlier than others. It is not for us to decide who should stay. God chooses and we should thank Him for each day we have with our loved ones.

In May of 2001 my father was on his deathbed, dying from a stroke. On this day, I had another close encounter with God. I wanted to make sure that he was right with the Lord. I decided that I was going to talk to him when I was with him at the hospital. I went out into the hall to gather myself and pray.

I looked to my right. Coming down the hall was the pastor from the church I had been attending. He was coming to visit another member of the church. I stopped him and said I needed him to come in and talk to my father. The pastor did come in and talk to my father, and we were sure then that he had the Lord in his heart. I was overjoyed that the Lord had sent the pastor just at the time I was getting up the courage to talk to my father.

He just happened to be coming to the hospital? He just happened to be on the right floor? He just happened to be in the right wing, and he just happened to be coming down the hall when I went out into the hall? I don’t think so!! God sent my pastor on a mission to talk to my father that morning. My father died two days later.

It is all right to grieve for your loved ones and friends, but if you know they are Christians, you have tremendous comfort. You know you will see them again some day.

If they are not a Christian, take time to share with them the love of God. You could also have the hospital chaplain talk to them, or have your church’s pastor talk to them. You may even go out into the hall and have a pastor coming toward you to talk to them!

I also have had the privilege of having many friends that were very dear to me. They each made an impact in my life. In just the last few years, I’ve had to say good-bye to several of them. Physical death took them from us, but spiritually they live on. I am only sharing this to let you know that I will be able to see each of them when it is my turn to walk the walk.

Arlene Corn was probably the best Detroit Tiger fan in the whole world. She lived in our cul-de-sac. She also was also a wonderful Christian. When she went to be with the Lord we all sang “Take Me out to the Ball Game” at her packed memorial service. There was not a dry eye at the service. She was an instant friend in the neighborhood. You felt you knew her from day one. Cancer took her from us.

My neighbor, who lived across the street, was one of the toughest women I have ever met. She called a spade a spade, and wouldn’t hesitate to let you know if you needed to be corrected. When someone mentioned that a friend had “passed away,” she scolded, “They didn’t pass away; they died!” She did pass away, and she will be greatly missed by all of her neighbors. She loved dogs, and the neighborhood dogs seemed to have known it. They lined up at her home for treats. Cancer took her from us.

A teacher friend of mine was a single parent of two sons that she loved very much. She also loved teaching kindergarten children, and they loved her. My wife and I took her for many of her chemotherapy sessions because her sons needed to be in school. She wanted to look special for everyone, so she wore a wig and made sure she was dressed well for her doctor visits. She remained positive to the very end. She passed away in her sleep. Cancer took her from us.

Another friend of ours was very tough woman. She could bite the head off a pit bull, but she was a person who spread her love as far as she could reach. She loved the “boys” who came to visit her. They were high school kids who needed someone to talk to. She had them over almost every night. They would sit around and talk to her and her husband. It was a place for them to unload.

She unloaded on my wife and her husband one time at a doctor’s appointment they had gone to with her. They started to break down at something the doctor said. “Quit being wimps!” she scolded. She didn’t want anyone feeling sorry for her. At her memorial service no one was allowed to say anything sad about her. Cancer took her from us.

Another teacher friend was a very proud woman. She refused to dwell on her illness. She always felt she was going to beat cancer. She was a woman that fought for the right to have an assisted suicide inOregon, the first state to allow it. She felt that we all should be able to die with dignity. She even spoke before Congress on the issue. She passed away before she was able to have assistance. Cancer took her from us.

Howard Girod and I met several years ago when we moved next door to him and his wife. He was the kind of person you were not sure you would be friends with. He once jokingly called me the village idiot. But as I got to know him, I found out that he was the most loving man I had met in a long time.

I almost fell off a ladder he was holding for me, and he scolded me like I was his son. “Be careful!” he shouted. Another time just before his death, when he was very weak, he whispered to me from his hospital bed, “If I could start over again … I wouldn’t!”

His favorite line at the end was, “God bless you.” That meant so much to me, especially since he had once called me the village idiot. Howard was a strong Christian who said a strong word once in awhile, but his love for you made you know that he was going to have a seat close to God when he passed. Leukemia took him from us.

God took all these people the same way. They all died from some from cancer, except my father who died from a stroke. There is not an answer why they had to leave us so soon, but God has His reasons. I thank Him for sharing these people with me for the time we had together. A father or a friend is a precious person that you should cherish each day you have them. You never know when they will not be with you anymore.

 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me.

Psalm 23:4

 

I tell you the truth, if anyone keeps my word, he will never see death.

John 8:51

 

Further Adventures

You never know when your close encounters will be. I have had many that I know of, but I probably had many more I didn’t know about. Try to keep track of when you have a close encounter and let me know about them by sending your story to me. (See Appendix on how to do that.)

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny that our children can’t read the Bible in school, but they can in prison?

 

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Stop the World and Let me Off. I’m Tired of Going Around

I am starting a new format today. I will be posting on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays from now on. I finally discovered that you can schedule your posts ahead of time. (I know… I am a dinosaur!) I can set-up all my post in one day, and still have time to write.

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I will be posting actual excerpts from my book, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World.”  This week I will start with the first chapter, and hand pick some future chapters, that readers have commented on.

You will see that this book reaches out to those who may suffer from anxiety, fear, depression, addictions, self-doubt, hopelessness, and the many other usual suspects.

There is a special sale going from right now through Christmas. In the retail stores, “Signs of Hope: Ways to Survive in an Unfriendly World,” is $19.99, but if you order from this site the price is only $15.99 and the shipping has been cut in half as well. A total savings of over $6.00.

When your book comes you will see that it is autographed and has a personal note just for you. (Think Christmas!)

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 Excerpt # 1…..

Chapter 1

 

 

 

Stop the World and Let Me Off. I’m Tired of Going ’Round and ’Round

 

 

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

 

Psalm 34:18

 

 

 

I was out of control. The sobbing filled my eyes with tears. I couldn’t see the road ahead of me as I drove my Explorer.

Everything seemed to be going wrong in my life. I had quit two jobs because of guilt. I even failed at running my own business. I quit the two jobs because I had to sell something to customers and I had a hard time trying to force people to buy something they may not really need.

The business that failed was a cash flow venture that helped businesses have a better flow of money while they waited for their accounts receivables to come in. I left that venture because I again had to convince people to take part in something they may not have needed.

Depression, self doubt, fear, anxiety, and even hopelessness, overcame me until I was in the pit of despair. I was a happily married man with three children and several grandchildren. I had a wonderful 25-year teaching career. Why was I feeling so low? Why did I feel so unloved?

All I wanted to do was to stop the madness and check out of this wretched hotel called Earth! I pulled my SUV into a high school parking lot in a secluded area. I was ready to commit suicide. The date wasMarch 31, 2001. The next day was April Fools Day. A very fitting time to have your life end, don’t you think?

I did have the common sense to call my wife Charlotte. She came quickly to where I was. She calmed me down enough to where I thought I could drive myself home. After she left, I sat there behind the steering wheel still crying, and then I yelled, “God, I can’t take this anymore!”

In a flash, there was calmness in me. It even felt different in the vehicle. The air was fresher and cooler. It was as if God were saying, “It’s about time you came back to Me. I have been waiting for you. Let Me carry you the rest of the way.”

My life changed that day. I gave my life back to God.

I had been a Christian since I was about 16. But I was the poster child for a lukewarm Christian.

Yes, I went to church and made sure my children went also, but I wouldn’t say I was a perfect example for them. I rose up in my church to where I was the Sunday school superintendent and on the important Pastor-Parish Relations Committee, but in my heart I didn’t put God first.

On Sundays, I stayed home if there was a good football game on. You didn’t have to go to church every Sunday, did you? God let me know I did. He also let me know of a new direction for me to go.

Why had I allowed myself to fall to such a low spot? Why had I drifted so far away from God?

The answer my friend is I was in a battle with many afflictions like self-doubt, anxiety, etc. Those aren’t fancy medical terms like cardiovascular disease or leukemia, but they are just as deadly. These demons of the mind can control your life to the point where you are not functional. It can cause you to hide from the world and let your life go on unnoticed until you die. It can push you to ending your own life.

This book is for those who want to discuss all the enemies of man like self-doubt, fear of failure, divorce, death in the family, and many others. I want to share with you how God used me to write this book, and how He pulled me out of the muck and mire.

The walls we put up in life can be caused by a loss of a loved one or extreme trauma. We can put them up because of sexual abuse, inappropriate or unclear expectations, divorce, poverty, violence in the family, family addiction or environment.

Do you often feel like you don’t want to go to work? Are there times when you feel like you would rather stay in bed and not face the world? Have you fallen into the pit of despair without even knowing why you did? Have you ever felt lost—and alone?

You are not alone! Close to 19 million American adults, or about 9.5% of the U.S.population age 18 and older, suffer from some kind of handicapping mental disorder in a given year.1

Now that I have totally broken you down—there is hope! There are treatments that can help you. See your doctor to find what treatment is best for you. Then go to where there is eternal treatment, and that is through your loving heavenly Father.

The first part of this book talks about putting on God’s armor and fighting against the many mental afflictions. This information is from the horse’s mouth. That would be me. I have gone through many battles of my own. I have felt lost, and I thought that there was nowhere to go. I lived that way for many years. I existed from day to day, struggling with my emotions. I found out that I didn’t need to go through the torture. I had places I could go for help. I found out what they were, and I invite you to find out too.

            Bear with me! There is a happy ending.

 

“I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners in Israel. Peace, peace, to those far and near,” says the Lord. “And I will heal them.”

Isaiah 57:18–19

 

Further Adventures

You know how easy it is to let your emotions take over in your life. You’ve been there. It is too easy to let the little things grow from molehills to mountains. When each trial comes up, try to put it into perspective. Is it something that is going to be life-changing? Is it something you can’t handle yourself?

You could tell in this chapter that I couldn’t handle what was happening to me, and what happened next? I felt God was changing me.

Stop in the middle of your grief and say, “Why am I so out of control? What can I do to stop this madness?” The answer was easy for me. I ran to God like a long lost prodigal son, and He opened His arms and took me back in like any father would do with his own son. You should do the same: Run to God and let Him carry you the rest of the way through your life like He is doing for me.

 

Something to Ponder

Isn’t it funny how we let the smallest winds grow into a full-blown storm?